Ethics for the New Millennium Part 7

ETHICS FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM

HIS HOLINESS THE DALAI LAMA

RIVERHEAD BOOKS                    1999

PART VII

Chapter 7: The Ethic of Virtue

I have suggested that if we are to be genuinely happy, inner restraint is indispensable. We cannot stop at restraint, however. Though it may prevent us from performing any grossly negative misdeeds, mere restraint is insufficient if we are to attain the happiness which is characterized by inner peace. In order to transform ourselves – our habits and dispositions – so that our actions are compassionate, it is necessary to develop what we might call an ethic of virtue. As well as refraining from negative thoughts and emotions, we need to cultivate and reinforce our positive qualities. What are these positive qualities? Our basic human, or spiritual qualities.

• After compassion (nying je) itself, the chief of these is what in Tibetan we call sö pa, or “patience” though its literal meaning is “able to bear” or “able to withstand.”
• Sö pa is what provides us with the strength to resist suffering and protects us from losing compassion even for those who would harm us.
• Lopon-la was one of thousands of monks and officials imprisoned by the occupying forces, endured grievous treatment, been subjected to “re-education”, forced to denounce his religion, and, on many occasions tortured as well.
• When I asked him whether he had ever been afraid, he admitted that there was one thing that had scared him: the possibility that he might lose compassion and concern for his jailers.

Hearing Lopon-la’s story confirmed what I had always believed. It is not just a person’s physical constitution, nor their intelligence, nor their education, nor even their social conditioning which enables them to withstand hardship. Much more significant is their spiritual state. And while some may be able to survive through sheer willpower, the ones who suffer the least are those who attain a high level of sö pa.

• When a person develops sö pa more, there comes composure in adversity, a sense of being unperturbed, reflecting a voluntary acceptance in pursuit of a higher, spiritual, aim.
• Sö pa is the means by which we practice true non-violence. It is what enables us not only to refrain from physical reactions when we are provoked, but it enables us to let go of our negative thoughts and emotions too.

We cannot speak of sö pa when we give in to someone yet we do so grudgingly or resentfully. The essence of sö pa is resolute forbearance in the face of adversity. In other words, the one who practices patient forbearance is determined not to give in to negative impulses (which are experienced as afflictive emotion in the form of anger, hatred, desire for revenge, and so on) but rather counters their sense of injury and does not return harm for harm.

• Sö pa should not be confused with mere passivity. There are times in everyone’s life when harsh words – or even physical intervention – may be called for.
• But since it safeguards our inner composure, sö pa means we are in a stronger position to judge an appropriately non-violent response.
• This is the very opposite of cowardice. Cowardice arises when we lose all confidence as a result of fear.
• Patient forbearance means that we remain firm even if we are afraid.
• Nor, when I speak of acceptance, do I mean that we should not do everything in our power to solve our problems whenever they can be solved.
• Acceptance can help ensure that the experience is not compounded by the additional burden of mental and emotional suffering.

Patient forbearance, then, is the quality which enables us to prevent negative thoughts and emotions from taking hold of us. It safeguards our peace of mind in the face of adversity. Through practicing patience in this way, our conduct is rendered ethically wholesome. As we have seen, the first step in ethical practice is to check our response to negative thoughts and emotions as they arise. The next step – what we do after applying the breaks – is to counter that provocation with patience.

• One of the best ways to begin familiarizing ourselves with the virtue of patience, or sö pa, is by taking time to reflect systematically on its benefits. It is the source of forgiveness.
• When we develop the ability patiently to forebear, we find that we develop a proportionate reserve of calmness and tranquillity. This, in turn, creates a positive atmosphere around us so that it is easy for others to relate to us.
• We find that not only do we become much stronger mentally and spiritually, but we tend also to be healthier physically. I attribute the good health I enjoy to a generally calm and peaceful mind.
• But the most important benefit of sö pa, or patience, consists in the way it acts as a powerful antidote to the affliction of anger – the greatest threat to our inner peace, and therefore our happiness. Indeed, we find that patience is the best means we have of defending ourselves internally from anger’s destructive effects.
• The mind or spirit is not physical. It cannot be touched or harmed directly. Only negative thoughts and emotions can harm it. Therefore, only the corresponding positive quality can protect it.
• It is very helpful to think of adversity not so much as a threat to our inner peace of mind but rather as the very mean by which patience is attained.
• Those who would harm us are, in a sense, teachers of patience. From adversity we can learn the value of patient forbearance. Those who would harm us give us unparalleled opportunities to practice disciplined behavior.
• The appropriate response to someone who causes us to suffer is to recognize that in harming us, ultimately they lose their peace of mind, their inner balance, and thereby their happiness.

For every negative state, we find that we can identify one which opposes it. For example, humility opposes pride; contentment opposes greed; perseverance opposes indolence. If, therefore, we wish to overcome the suffering which arises when negative thoughts and emotions are allowed to develop, cultivating virtue should not be seen as separate from restraining our response to them. They go hand in hand. This is why ethical discipline cannot be confined either to mere restraint or to mere affirmation of positive qualities.

• The first step in overcoming anxiety is to develop a proper perspective of our situation. One of the most effective ways is to try to shift attention away from self and toward others.
• When we succeed in this we find that the scale of our own problems diminishes.
• We should not ignore our own needs altogether, but we should try to remember others’ needs alongside our own, no matter how pressing ours may be.
• We find that almost all the mental and emotional suffering which is such a feature of modern living – including the sense of hopelessness, of loneliness, and so on – lessens the moment we begin to engage in actions motivated by concern for others.

What though, of those occasions when we find our whole lives unsatisfactory, or when we feel on the point of being overwhelmed by our suffering – as happens to us all in varying degrees from time to time? When this occurs, it is vital that we make every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by recollecting our good fortune. We may, for example, be loved by someone; we may have certain talents; we may have received a good education; we may have our basic needs provided for – food to eat, clothes to wear, somewhere to live – we may have performed certain altruistic deeds in the past. Not unlike a banker who collects interest even on the smallest amounts of money he has out on loan, we must take into consideration even the slightest positive aspect of our lives. For if we fail to find some way of uplifting ourselves, there is every danger of sinking further into our sense of powerlessness. This can lead us to believe that we have no capacity for doing good whatsoever. Thus we create the conditions of despair itself. At that point, suicide may seem the only option.

• In most cases of hopelessness and despair, we find that it is the individual’s perception of their situation rather that its reality which is the issue.
• What else might an ethic of virtue consist in? As a general principle, it is essential to avoid extremes. We find that even noble causes when carried to extremes can become a source of harm.
• It is also important to realize that transforming the mind and heart so that our actions become spontaneously ethical requires that we put the pursuit of virtue at the heart of our daily lives.
• This is because love and compassion, patience, generosity, humility, and so on are all complementary. And because it is so difficult to eradicate afflictive emotion, it is necessary that we habituate ourselves to their opposites even before negative thoughts and emotions arise.
• Giving is recognized as a virtue in every major religion and in every civilized society, and it clearly benefits both the giver and the receiver.
• When we give with the underlying motive of inflating the image others have of us – to regain renown and have them think of us as virtuous or holy – we defile the act. We are practicing not generosity but self-aggrandizement.
• Though not a substitute, giving of our time and energy may represent a somewhat higher order of giving than making gifts. Here I am thinking especially of the gift of service to those with mental or physical disabilities, to the homeless, to those who are lonely, to those in prison and those who have been in prison.
• The most compassionate form of giving is when it is done without any thought or expectation of reward, and grounded in genuine concern for others.
• To say that humility is an essential ingredient in our pursuit of transformation may seem to be at odds with what I have said about the need for confidence.
• It is important to distinguish between genuine humility, which is a species of modesty, and a lack of confidence.
• Today humility is often thought of as a weakness rather than as an indication of inner strength – especially in the context of business and professional life.

Yet in contemporary life, humility is more important than ever. The more successful we humans become, both as individuals and as a family through our development of science and technology, the more essential it becomes to preserve humility. For the greater our temporal achievements, the more vulnerable we become to pride and arrogance.

• If humility is not to be confused with lack of confidence, still less has it anything to do with a sense of worthlessness.
• We all have the capacity for empathy. We all, therefore, have the potential to engage in wholesome conduct even if this only takes the form of positive thoughts.
• To suppose ourselves worthless is simply incorrect.
• It is helpful to develop an attitude of regret and repentance. While it is natural and to be expected that we should have feelings of discomfort in relation to our past misdeeds, there is sometimes an element of self-indulgence when this is extended to feelings of guilt.
• Rather than stopping at mere sorrow and regret, it is important to use this as the basis for resolve, for a deep-seated commitment never again to harm others and to direct our actions all the more determinedly to the benefit of others.
• The act of disclosure, or confession, of our negative actions to another – especially to someone we really respect and trust – will be found very helpful in this.
• Above all, we should remember that as long as we retain the capacity of concern for others, the potential for transformation remains.
• It is important not to allow ourselves to be put off by the magnitude of others’ suffering. The misery of millions is not a cause for pity. Rather it is a cause for developing compassion.
• Transformation comes little by little, just as a building is constructed brick by brick.
• Dealing with the afflictive emotions is a lifelong struggle. What we are talking about is gaining an experience of virtue through constant practice and familiarization so that it becomes spontaneous. Eventually, it will become second nature. But there are no shortcuts.
• Far more effective than short bursts of heroic effort followed by periods of laxity is to work steadily like a stream flowing toward our goal of transformation.

Making a habit of concern for others’ well-being, and spending a few minutes on waking in the morning reflecting on the value of conducting our lives in an ethically disciplined manner, is a good way to start the day no matter what our beliefs or lack of them. The same is true of taking some time at the end of each day to review how successful in this we have been. Such a discipline is very helpful in developing our determination not to behave self-indulgently.

It is self-evident that a generous heart and wholesome actions lead to greater peace. And it is equally clear that their negative counterparts bring undesirable consequences. Happiness arises from virtuous causes. If we truly desire to be happy, there is no other way to proceed but by way of virtue: it is the method by which happiness is achieved. And, we might add, that the basis of virtue, its ground, is ethical discipline.

Chapter 8: The Ethic of Compassion