THE EARTH IS BUT ONE COUNTRY

JOHN HUDDLESTON

The National Spiritual Assembly of the Bahá’ís of the United Kingdom

1976/1988

PART VII

 

Chapter 5: A New Family Life

A – The equality of men and women

The Bahá’í view is that there are two essential requirements for the establishment of a just society where all will have the opportunity to find a fruitful and meaningful life. The first is a commitment by the individual to think and live according to the highest moral principles, that is, the creation of a new race of men. The second is a completely new system of institutions which will give expression to, shape and strengthen the aspirations of such a race of men.

• The oldest, strongest and most basic of all social relationships is the family.  When a family is based on sound moral and spiritual principles it will make an invaluable contribution to the development of all concerned; husband, wife, parents, children, and to society as a whole.
• The contribution of the family is an essential element in the development of a just society and there is no substitute for it.
• Of particular importance is belief in the equality of men and women. The capacity and the contribution they can make to the general good of society are just as important as the capacity and contribution men make.
• When women are prevented from reaching their full potential, society is thrown off balance.

“The happiness of mankind will be realized when women and men coordinate and advance equally, for each is the complement and helpmeet of the other.”

• It is of interest to note that the teaching concerning equality of men and women was one cause for the antagonism with which the faith was often greeted by the ignorant and prejudiced in its early years in Persia.
• Fifty years before the suffragette movement became a force in the West, a young woman named Táhirih, who has subsequently been recognized as one of the great poets of Persian literature practised the new teachings in the face of a fiercely hostile society and eventually lost her life for her beliefs (see Chapter eight).

 

B – Marriage

The core of the family is marriage. The first purpose of marriage is procreation and the raising of children.

• It is also an instrument for the spiritual development of all members of the family, living together in intimacy with persons of a different sex and different age groups, learning to appreciate the beauty in the variety of life, and learning the responsibilities of protecting the young and weak.
• Monogamy is a logical biological unit for the human species as such a union is best for the full development of the complementary qualities of the marriage partners and for the provision of a stable, balanced, responsible and loving background for the rearing of children.
• Every effort should be made to keep vigorous ties with the wider family: grandparents, cousins and the other members of the community.
• Marriage is the most important relationship in the average person’s life insofar as it is the most long lasting and the most intimate.
• One of the most important tests of marriage is learning to consult together in a fruitful manner.
• Prayer plays a most important role in developing the most constructive attitudes in marriage because it lifts the spirit to a higher plane of detachment and perspective.
• Great emphasis is placed on careful choice of a marriage partner. This involves becoming thoroughly acquainted with both one’s own character and that of the proposed partner, so that both can be assured that there is the required maturity of outlook for marriage on both sides.

A person who is mature enough for marriage will be loyal, faithful, honest and trustworthy in all dealings with others; will be of a generous, not a jealous, possessive or domineering spirit; will be ready to work hard and will have a balanced attitude on family economics, being neither wasteful nor overly concerned about saving every penny for the future. Such a person will have the strength to handle the hard as well as the easy times of life.

• A good sign of maturity is a sense of humour and an ability to laugh with others. A marriage relationship has the best chance of success if each partner is appreciative, sensitive and fundamentally at one with himself or herself.
• Even after the most careful preparation a marriage can go wrong. The Bahá’í Writings recognize this and make compassionate provision for dealing with marriages which run into difficulty.

 

C – Chastity

Bahá’í Writings affirm that the physical side of marriage is of great importance. Sex is not only the means of procreation, but it is one of the most beautiful channels for the expression of the spiritual union which should exist between husband and wife.

• The following extract from a letter written in 1938 on behalf of Shoghi Effendi summarizes the Bahá’í position:

“The Bahá’í Faith recognizes the value of the sex impulse, but condemns its illegitimate and improper expressions such as free love, companionate marriage and others, all of which it considers positively harmful to man and to the society in which he lives. The proper use of the sex instinct is the very purpose that the institution of marriage has been established. The Bahá’ís do not believe in the suppression of the sex impulse but in its regulation and control.”

There are those who maintain that pre-marital sex is necessary to determine whether or not a man and a woman are compatible. This point overlooks the fact that true marriage is a spiritual union and that if a couple have really discovered each other’s character and love what they see, then sex cannot be a fundamental problem.

D – The raising of children

To a Bahá’í the responsibility is not only the normally-accepted one of a parent protecting and educating another innocent and defenceless human being, but one of helping to raise up a new race of men and women on whom depends future world society.

• Those parents who are negligent of their children’s education have committed an unforgivable act.
• The spiritual and intellectual growth of the child, as well as its physical growth starts in the womb, and the mother should bear this in mind whilst pregnant.
• There is the suggestion that the more serene and spiritual the mother is during this time, the better it will be for the baby as well as for herself.
• From the time when the baby is born the parents must be ever conscious of their responsibility and their power to influence the character of the child in their care.
• If their own lives are corrupt and conducted at standards lower than the highest, they must expect that this condition will become part of the character of their children.
• Children should be brought up in a home where there is warmth of feeling for all people, a sense of reverence for all things, an attitude of prayer to God.

In the early month’s of the child’s life its formal education should begin and there should be applied those two great principles of all education: reward and punishment.

“O People of God! That which traineth the world is justice, for it is upheld by two pillars, reward and punishment. These two pillars are the sources of life to the world.”

• This implies love hand-in-hand with a constant firmness right from the beginning.
• Parents must practise what they preach. How many millions of parents have forbidden smoking and drinking to their children and openly consume such drugs themselves.
• Double talk is one of the most effective ways of undermining a child’s sense of values. They must constantly teach what is reasonable and just.
• As a child grows up, an important part of his education is diversity of experience. He should have continuous access to his parents in both formal learning and in play, and if possible, to his grandparents and other adults.
• The prime object of the education of the child as he grows older is to give him the tools to think freely for himself and to think wisely.

Bahá’ís believe that a child has reached the age of maturity at the age of fifteen. By then his basic character is formed and he is capable of searching for the truth himself. If he has not had a good foundation in education by then, life is likely to be hard for him. When a branch has become hard and stiff it is very hard to straighten. It is at this age that a child can decide for himself whether he wishes to declare his faith as a Bahá’í. No pressure is to be applied: the decision must be of his own free choice. If it were otherwise the whole point of Bahá’í teachings would be lost.

Chapter 6: A Just System of Government

A – The administrative Order